I think I finally got it

This is a first.  I have never written an entry the night after a concert.  In fact, I tend to not write it all.  But I had no choice in the matter.  I had to.

Confession time.

I actually wrote a marathon blog.  It's long.  It's not so much about the race but about the last 3 minutes.  This kind of out of body experience.  This movie of my life where all of these questions I had became abundantly clear with answers and faces.  Things jut clicked.  And it was all to Snow Patrol's Open Your Eyes, one of my top 5 songs.  I mean, I couldn't make this stuff up.   I'm not sure why tonight made me think of it but it did.  

But I never published it.  I have lots that I never publish.  It's pretty loaded.  I'm just not there yet.

Tonight I had the honor of seeing Lori McKenna.  From the first strum of her guitar, she totally had me in a trance.  That voice, those lyrics.  I mean she made me almost cry.  So I'm sitting here wondering, is she going to sing it?  Is she going to sing my song.  She did not.  But I got my answers. Most songs are about her husbandm of 21 years (she is only 40 and has a 20 year old and 4 more kids the youngest being 5.)  One Man; those lyrics killed me.  Then she says she was reading an article with Glen Stefani (and yes I am going to see No Doubt next month; do I give good birthday gifts or what?  The reporter asked her, "What do you think makes your marriage work?"  Gwen said, "Sticking by each other through everything."  

Now I have always admired Gwen; I consider her a pioneer for so many reasons.  She fronted an all guy band, she has this style that is genuinely her and says, I really could care less what you think of me, now she has her own clothing line.  She took some risks in her solo career (truth be told , I like a lot of her solo stuff better than the No Doubt stuff.)  Then there is the fact that she married a hot British musician.  Amelia is actually really getting into her and she made me promise to buy her a tee shirt when I go see them.  There was nothing sexy about that answer.  She and Gavin have been together for awhile.  They now have two sons.  You never hear about public fights at Nobu or unidentified people in their cars (btw, Kate of John and Kate was on the cover of this week's US; can we say affair with The Bodyguard.  This story just keeps getting uglier.  Cue I Will Always Love You by Whitney Houston right now.  You know if those two want to have an open relationship, fine, but stop pretending that you actually like each other and think of what this will do down the road to your EIGHT children. And that fact that your family is on a reality tv show that is a model of "the perfect" family.   As a parent you make multiple mistakes daily, or at least I do.  And I've made some doozies.  But I learned from them. You look at those mistakes and analyze and try to figure out why.  I guess what infuriates me about this entire situation is that they are pretending to be someone they aren't.  Neither of them has come clean.  I would have so much respect if they said, "We are having some major issues, made some mistakes and are now trying to work through it."  Not work it out but work through it.  Whether it's staying together or separating, do something.  But do you really want one of your kids to catch a glimpse of the headline, "Jon and Kate on a date; with other people."  Someone, someone please think of those kids.  If they are staying together for the sole purpose for the show then that is so wrong.  

And that's what I loved about Gwen's answer to the infamous "What makes your marriage work" question.  No stupid, well every third Thursday we head down to Coffee, Bean, Tea and Leaf for date night.  No, we surprise each other with little gifts.  Gwen's answer was actually brilliant the more I think of it (and now totally more psyched to see her.)  She's basically saying, "You've got to be there for each other; through the good, bad and the ugly."   I totally want to give her a hug right now.  Just being there.  Lori then went on to say that this next song was inspired by that answer.  And that's when I finally got it.  Why I love Lori so much, why I was reminded of out of body experience during the marathon at the concert and just who my song, Beautiful Man is about.  Last night Lori would preface every song with a funny story and more than half of them were intended to be about something else but "this song as usual ended up about my husband."  They have been married for 20 years.  Five kids.  Had financial hardships.  Look, just look at her lyrics.  She is the queen of writing about the kind of love and relationships Gwen is talking about.  No, the sun, the moon and the stars aligned when I saw you, the ground shook kind of sh*t going on.  It's about knowing the little things.  The silent connection.  Here is the song the song inspired by Gwen; and seriously, I know I've said seriously a lot this blog, this just makes me even more excited about seeing her next month.  Listen.  I think you'll figure out the answer.

I have got to go to bed.  I've got a huge day tomorrow.  And I cannot wait to blog about this and hopefully post some priceless pictures.